What I should have said

to the man who called me a girl and, when I tried to tell him I’m actually a woman, drowned me out by repeating louder and louder that I am a lady:

“Cease speaking immediately”, for starters.

Even if we did live in a universe where someone I have spent less than 30 minutes speaking to got to dictate how I identify myself, you have no justification for calling me a child.

It’s 9 years since I was legally classed as an adult, 10 since I could start driving, and 11 since I could legally have sex. Not sure how I feel about those things being allowed in that order, but there’s a post for another day. Heck, I’m even past that magical age when you suddenly become responsible enough to hire a car.

I am not a girl, by any stretch of the imagination.

As for calling me a lady. Did you really think it would be that easy to tame me? Do you actually believe a word could make me a Good Little Lady to your Gentleman?  Sorry (not sorry) to disappoint, but it takes more than words to tame a tiger.

I may be lady-like in that I don’t swear, I only raise my voice in extreme situations, I have manners, and I drink an inordinate amount of tea with my pinky finger sticking out.

But I also lift weights and have bigger muscles than pretty much all of my friends. I can’t pass a tree without wanting to climb it. I have punched people and would do so again to protect myself. Maybe even in rage, keep trying to dictate how I refer to myself and maybe we’ll find out. And heaven help the person who hurts someone I love.

You cannot pigeonhole me with a word, in fact you bring out my contrary stubbornness by trying to.

Or is it the mental images this word ‘woman’ brings up that upset you? Is ‘woman’ too sensual for you? Too sexual even?

All I can say to that is…tough. I am a woman. I have curves and I know how to use them. If that makes you uncomfortable, well, that’s your issue. Calling me a girl won’t make these curves go away. Calling me a lady won’t stop me shaking them when my favourite raggaeton track comes on, or giving it tarraxinha when I dance kizomba.

I am a woman because I say so, and I am the only person in the entire world allowed to decide.

I am a woman. Deal with it.


4 thoughts on “What I should have said

  1. I get where you are coming from 100% but one day you will be grateful for your youthful genes! So where were you when someone was foolish enough to call you a girl? I think you are a gorgeous lady-like woman.


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